Speak your truth.
Even if your voice trembles.
If we don’t express what we need, we risk loosing our energy and joy, and even become vulnerable to burn-out, depression and hurtful or broken relationships.
It’s easy to assume, we experience synergy with others by prioritising harmony in our relationships above anything else.
Unfortunately, we often forget, the precursor to experiencing harmony with others, is the consistent care we put in the connection with ourselves.
Not speaking up for what we need may seem to contribute to a pleasant relationship and it really does for a little while, but not on the long run. It’s like not sleeping on a long distance flight. You are a little tired once you arrive but you don’t care so much over a little lack of sleep. Only once you become frequent long haul flyer, you start to notice what that frequent lack of sleep does to your well being.
In the same way, not speaking your truth by not expressing what you need, results in disharmony within yourself.
Acknowledging to ourselves what we feel and what we need, may feel uncomfortable.
And if we are uncertain about how others will receive our words if we choose to share what is alive in us, the discomfort of not speaking up seems smaller than the fear and stress of coping with our emotions. Instead of expressing our truth, we rather behave in ways we think others will accept us. While we make ourselves believe we live in harmonious relationships with others, we simultaneously deny the increasing relational and emotional gap.
At all cost we want to be sure we belong and are loved. But while attempting to assure this love and belonging, by not expressing our truth, we loose the connection with ourselves.
Once that happens, we start to feel hurt, stressed, resentful, detached and desperate, thinking there is no way out of the situation or relationship. The overwhelm of emotions feels uncomfortable and scary. Pursuing the need for harmony with others has disrupted our own inner peace.
The only way to come to being in peace with ourselves now, is first to numb ourselves and if that doesn’t help enough, to distance ourselves and hold ourselves up in solitude. Not necessarily for the better of our wellbeing. While nobody watches, we are bound to let old unwanted habits return, we choose all sorts of activities, foods, have less movement and we give space to addictive behaviours without thinking long enough about the impact of it all.
In short, we stop taking care of ourselves and we don’t care for ourselves simply because we don’t allow ourselves to feel. Not the pain, but also not the joy of life.
If the situation lasts long enough, our behaviour impacts our relationships and lives to a major extent – if it hasn’t already. As we don’t feel much, it is hard to read ourselves. The needs we already weren’t stepping up for, are in huge deficit of being fulfilled. And since we don’t take care of ourselves well, the deficit increases rapidly.
Further down the path, our relationships can become hurtful or broken. We have become vulnerable for depression, burn-out and all sorts of other unpleasant psychological, mental, emotional and physical matters.
Instruments may be untouched and silent for a while. But is’t not okay to silence your voice. It’s there to express your fair share in the conversation.
Pause to feel your emotions.
Listen to that voice inside.
It speaks so clearly when you are out of alignment with yourself.
It tells you exactly which needs want attention.
Their intention is to let you know, which specific kind of life energy needs nourishment.
So don’t miss that opportunity.
And then, speak up.
You are the only person responsible for preserving your energy.
Your voice matters.
Because that is the sound of love, the energy, the power that flows in you.
It makes you who you are.
The person people want to meet and be in relationship with.